thebookslut

10th May 2012

Link reblogged from Somniloquent Soapboxer with 12 notes

Somniloquent Soapboxer: Female Privilege Checklist-agogo! →

dreazil:

I ound this on Forty Shades Of Grey- an amazing blog that I follow. This woman is so amazingly insightful, I love her. 

Female Privilege Checklist-agogo!

Last night, a ‘female privilege checklist’ that was posted on Reddit/MensRights, (107 upvotes at time of publication) was doing the rounds on Twitter. Posted in a faux-concerned way (the OP just wants women to be aware of these things, you see), this list may as well be called ‘Patriarchy hurts men too: A list’, or possibly ‘The MRA bingo card (what can we blame on eebil feminazis today?)’. Anyway, I took a bit of time to fisk it. I haven’t included links (because most of these seemed pretty obvious, also I was working in a rush), but if you’d like me to explain my working or sources on anything, please just ask.(DISCLAIMER: The list itself is heteronormative (to the point of homophobia) and completely cisnormative. It also only really applies to very western countries, and it helps to imagine that we’re living in 1950. Also I got slightly bored towards the end.)

1. On average I will get much lighter punishment for the same crime. - No. There is no disparity in the guidelines issued by the Sentencing Guideline Council. Most defences are written from the ‘male gaze’ - i.e. Provocation requires a ‘sudden or temporary loss of control’. Men and women usually (for various reasons, all of them societal) commit different ‘types’ of crimes - most women are in prison for drug and property-based crimes, more men for violent crimes. If women commit a ‘male’ crime, they are usually judged more harshly as they have transgressed the gender boundary as well as the criminal one.
2. PMS is usually considered an extenuating circumstance. (Example) - Only if it’s so severe as to give the defendant the defence of Diminished Responsibility - at which point it usually takes on the characteristics of a mental illness. It’s not just ‘oh, I was on my period. Can’t be blamed for anything’.
3. I am not expected to go to war or even drafted into the army. - One of the last countries to have a draft is Israel. Who draft both men and women. 40% of child soldiers are girls. Most countries now allow women to join the army. Women are more likely to suffer the consequences of war. Wars are usually started by men. Patriarchal pressures stop women serving on the front line.
4. It’s always ladies first. Perhaps also children first, but always girls before boys. - There have been lots of times this wasn’t the case. Also, If you give up rape culture, we’d be more than happy to give up leaving sinking boats first or being the first to go through a door. Honestly.
5. I have special protection from domestic violence and supposedly female-only issues, unlike my male counterparts. - Male domestic violence refuges and helplines exist. The way to get more of these is not to have fewer for women, as men’s rights activists have campaigned to do in the past. Also, if women are so well protected, why do two of them die because of this a week in the UK alone?
6. In a sex-related crime (e.g. groping), and in the absence of conflicting evidence, my word will have more weight than a man’s. - Nope, sorry. You saw what happened with Herman Cain, right? 
7. If I am raped I can safely report it and my report will be taken seriously because there is a legal provision for it. - Premise accepted, in cases of male victims v female victims but I do not accept that it’s a privilege. This happens because women are more likely to be raped than men, so it is more common to deal with. In any case, there is still a shockingly low conviction rate, and lots of female victims are not taken ‘seriously’.
8. I can look at children for more than three seconds with no fear of being labelled a pedophile. - If there wasn’t the women = childrearers, men = sexual beings dichotomy, this wouldn’t be the case.
9. Usually, cases of female adult on male children sexual abuse aren’t even considered in court. - Yes they are. And seriously. 
10. Other cases of abuse are not given the same priority. Child abuse is only sexual in nature. (More) - I’m not sure what they mean by this.
11. If I get a divorce, I will invariably get child custody. - Due to the idea of women = childrearers. Feminists would like to get rid of this too, and just have whichever parent is most suitable (if it must just be one) to raise the children, because it is another reason that women are harmed economically. 
12. If I get a divorce, chances are I will get alimony, even if there are no children. - Women more likely to give up work or opportunities for career progression when married, and do more work in the marriage. Alimony is a way of compensating this.
13. There is much more funding for breast cancer research than for prostate or testicle cancer research. - It’s not a finite pot or a privilege. No one is stopping anyone raising money for research into these types of cancers. How about a male cancer equivalent of Race for Life?
14. If I marry a rich man so that I don’t have to work, people will say I’m successful. - Or a ‘golddigging whore’. Also, men are not pressured to give up work, whereas women are.
15. I am always protected from genital mutilation. Even in the few places where it is practised, genital mutilation is sometimes illegal, only for my gender though. - Although I do not agree with circumcision and consider it wrong, female genital mutilation is much, much more extreme and dangerous, and usually done at an older age. In countries where breast-ironing is done, it is usually done to make the woman less ‘desirable’ in order to lessen her chances of rape.
16. I have a longer life expectancy. - due to societal factors like drinking less, smoking less, eating less fatty food (hello body shaming!) etc.
17. There is a much lesser chance that I will be driven to suicide.- No, just a lower chance that women are successful in their attempts. Also to do with a culture in which men are seen as ‘strong’ and have to bottle emotions up.
18. Retirement age for me is lower than for my male counterparts in most places. - Not any more. Also due to men = strong, women = weak dichotomy.
19. The majority of the population in most of the western nations is the same gender as me. - We have a 1% majority and much fewer opportunities. No one is practicing gendercide on men in non-westernised countries though.
20. I can fight for my gender’s issues with no fear of being labelled a whiny sexist or a chauvinist pig. - Really, men can do this too. They just so often do it while doing the other things too.
21. Everybody, from a very young age, is taught that they must not hit me. There is a Spanish saying, “a las damas no se las toca ni con el pétalo de una rosa”, which translates as “ladies cannot be touched, not even with a rose petal”. - that’s not our fault, and very frequently a rule that’s not adhered to. 
22. Due to accusations of sexism, many places now hire preferentially or exclusively women (and that’s even ignoring the sex industry). Such discrimination is, in some places, law. - Really, I can’t say anything other than, no it’s not, please show your working.
23. I have a much lower chance of being injured or dying for work-related reasons. - Societal pressures making more dangerous industries apparently only suitable for ‘men’. Also, could probably be solved by greater H&S legislation, but try telling Tories that.
24. I have no pressure to be physically strong or to do most of the physically demanding work. - But we ARE labelled as ‘abnormal’ if we do.
25. I have little pressure to be a breadwinner. - Except if you need to be (single mother). Also, men aren’t pressured OUT of careers on marriage.
26. I can live with someone my own gender with no fear of being labelled a faggot. - Why is homosexuality seen as such a bad thing?
27. Even if I do like my own gender I’m at an advantage – lesbians are generally better treated than gay males. - No really, this is just not true. Gay men have a (comparatively) very strong economic position, are more widely accepted to be the ‘definition’ of homosexual and are more positively (and realistically) portrayed in the media.
28. When I go to a bar, I get to decide whether or not to have sex tonight. Men are competitors; I am the judge. - Unless the men decide it’s their ‘right’ to have sex with me. If I am raped it is my fault for being out at a bar. Also, bars do not equal sex. 
29. I can get free entrances to bars and free drinks once I’m in. - Free entrance is to lure us into bars so men can try and sleep with us, free drinks usually the same reason. Again, not everyone goes out trying to get laid. 
30. Even if I don’t, a male is usually expected to pay for me. - I dispute this, however, if it is true, it’s because men = strong protective breadwinning provider, women = economically stunted, need looking after. Also, I’ll give up all free drinks if you give up rape culture.
31. If there’s a crime or some other wrong and I’m involved, chances are I will automatically considered a victim. - Good job courts work with what we like to call ‘evidence’ then, isn’t it?
32. If I don’t like one of my (male) co-workers, I can ruin their reputation with a sexual harassment accusation. - for fuck’s sake. Just no.
33. If I am straight I have it easier when looking for a male. - How? Is this because women are supposed to be ‘passive’? Have you seen how much effort women are supposed to put in to getting a man? They’re supposed to change their whole damn appearance!
34. If I am straight I will never be friendzoned. - Yeah, you might. Also, ‘friendzoning’ only means that the person likes your company but doesn’t want to fuck you. It’s not a great crime committed by them.
35. If I get a promotion it’s gender equality, even if I didn’t deserve it. If a male does it’s sexism and I can freely denounce it. - Unless you’re accused of giving sexual favours to secure it or jumped all over by men who have decided they must be inherently better than you so you only got it because of affirmative action.
36. I can show skin almost without fear of being arrested. - Just raped, and the chance to be blamed for it if it happens. Also, men can go topless in summer!
37. Even in colleges where most of the students are male, chances are a larger fraction of female applications are accepted. - Only recently, and because women outperform men in most exams. In 35. they railed against affirmative action, now they want it. Baffling.
38. I have a higher pain threshold. - Even if this is true (and there’s no reliable way to test it), it’s probably because of childbirth. We can swap if you want.
39. Paradoxically I have much more protection from pain – I am never told to “woman up” or to “take it like a woman”. - Ha! We imply you’re weak and sickly and this does not benefit us! STOP SAYING IT THEN.
40. Maternity leave is much more common and has more benefits than paternity leave. - Yep, and this is another way women are pressured into giving up a career in order to raise children.
41. I can freely show my emotions, including crying, with no fear of being labelled a pussy. - Patriarchy hurts men too, episode #83459 - Also another example of saying women (or normative female attributes) are weak and undesireable.
42. If I get to retire and am still single, nobody will question my sexual orientation. - no, just called a wizened old hag if we try have a relationship with a man our own age, laughed at as a ‘cougar’ if we dare try to have sex with a man younger than us and constantly patronised and told we should be distraught that we never married or had children, even if we didn’t want to. Also, lots of elderly childfree single women ARE labelled lesbians, and why the homophobia?
43. Public restrooms for my gender are almost always spotless. - Oh god no, they’re not. Also, you piss on the walls!
44. I have virtually no chance of finding a janitor of the opposite sex on the public restrooms for my gender. And even if I do, I can speak to the manager who will make sure it doesn’t happen again. - Not true.
45. Chances are I will never have someone of the opposite sex searching me, and my searches will be less invasive. - Firstly, it’s illegal in every opposite configuration. Secondly, you think vaginal cavity searches are not invasive?
46. I can find sexist overtones in every negative situation, even if there aren’t, and most people will believe me. - Trust me, even when I point to clear and concrete evidence of, say, higher instances of rape, someone will be waiting in the wings to argue with me.
47. When it comes to sex, I’m not required to maintain an erection for a long time or have high levels of stamina; in fact, it is I who sets the bar and can humilliate men for underperforming. - And it is I who was told until 20 years ago that if I didn’t want to have sex with my husband, he could just rape me, and still get told that men should be allowed to rape me if I have ‘led them on’ (usually by existing).
48. Most of the best parts in choral music are written for my voice, whatever it may be. Such parts for males (usually tenors only) exist, but are much rarer. - Oh noes! 1) The Three Tenors. 2) Most old soprano pieces were written for castrati, because they didn’t want women in choirs. Again, something I’m willing to trade for, let’s say… an end to rape culture.
49. I may verbally defuse or refuse to engage in physical altercation without it damaging my reputation or viability as a sex partner. (thanks Space_Pirate)- Most het women I know wouldn’t want a partner who was a violent arsehole. Also, this is the men = strong, women = weak dichotomy AGAIN. Blame patriarchy!
50. I have the privilege of being unaware of (or feigning ignorance about) my female privilege. After all, everybody knows the world is biased against females. - YAWN.

Here’s the thing. I KNOW I have privilege. I know that I have privilege over people of colour, over trans* people, over people who don’t pass as straight, over queer people, over non-western people, over disabled people, over people who don’t pass as neurotypical, and probably a whole host more people I haven’t mentioned here because of my privilege causing me to be an idiot. But not over white, straight, cis, able-bodied, neurotypical western men. Sorry, but the fact that the privileges MRAs seek (not seek for everyone, just themselves) sometimes bite them on the arse doesn’t mean that they’re actually benefiting women to a greater extent. Really, the best thing to do would be for people to see where we’re *all* being fucked over, and work together to change it, but somehow I can’t see that happening…

Amen, sister friend. Amen. 

Source: dreazil

10th May 2012

Link reblogged from You May Say I'm a Dreamer... with 16 notes

Female Privilege? →

hitmeagaintubesock:

I found this list on the Women in Higher Education website:

Female privileges

In contemplating the list with a colleague, we looked at the reverse, and created this list of 25 female privileges. Feel free to share, post, add to or comment on it, being careful to note the inspiration from Peggy McIntosh and Barry Deutsch.

1. I am physically able to give birth to another human being, and then do my best to mold her or him into the kind of person I choose.

This implies that women are responsible for raising children since they have to carry the child for 9 months and give birth.  Some privilege, huh?

2. I am not automatically expected to be the family breadwinner.

Yeah, because that’s the man’s job, right?

3. I feel free to wear a wide variety of clothes, from jeans to skimpy shorts to dresses as appropriate, without fear of ridicule.

And then get labeled as a prude or a slut and then face the blame when a man (who cannot control his sexual nature) rapes you.  Yet we have to be completely covered.  I mean, some guys out there have bigger boobs then me, yet they can go outside without a shirt on?

 4. I can choose to remain seated to meet most people.

I still don’t see how this is a privilege.  It’s about respect—meet someone, you stand up.  It’s called courtesy, not privilege.

5. I am not ashamed to ask for others’ perspectives on an issue.

How is this a privilege?

6. I feel free to exhibit a wide range of emotions, from tears to genuine belly laughter, without being told to shut up.

And then be labeled as weak.  Our displays of emotion can keep us out of positions of power and if we feel free to cry in public, it’s assumed that we’re on our periods, right?  I mean, ask Hillary Clinton where her public displays of emotion got her…

7. My stereotypical excesses in shopping, clothes, jewelry, personal care and consumption of chocolate usually are expected, even the source of jokes.

The source of jokes—yeah, because every woman wants to be the butt of everyone’s jokes.  And our “excesses in shopping, clothes, jewelry, etc” mean that we are gold diggers, high maintenance, etc.

8. Public policies generally offer me an opportunity to bond with my offspring.

They also shame you if you choose not to stay home with the offspring or decide not to have offspring…

9. I am among the first to get off a sinking ship.

Not always true…

10. I can usually find someone with superior strength to help me overcome physically challenging obstacles, such as changing a tire or cutting a huge Christmas tree.

Because we’re the weaker sex.  We need a man to help us with “physically challenging obstacles”…

11. Changing my mind is seen as a birthright or prerogative.

Everyone changes their mind.  It’s not something that’s reserved for women…once again, not a privilege.

12. I feel free to explore alternate career paths instead of being bound to a single career ladder.

And men don’t?  Not to mention, women are expected to follow specific career paths and are supposed to stay away from physical labor, right?

13. I am used to asking for help, around the kitchen table or the proverbial water cooler or the conference room.

So it’s a privilege that we are expected to ask for help because we can’t do it alone?

14. People I’ve never met are inclined to hold doors open and give up their seats for me.

For one, that’s called being polite.  Secondly, it implies, yet again, that women need help with everything.

15. I can be proud of the skill I have worked to develop at stretching limited financial resources.

This isn’t a gender specific trait—everyone has pride in the things they accomplish.

16. I am not ashamed of using alternatives to positional power to reach my goals.

What exactly are these alternatives?

17. I know how to put a new roll of toilet paper in use and am not above doing it for the next person.

Uhm…what does changing the toilet paper have to do with privilege?  It’s toilet paper…you use the last of it, you change it—courtesy, not privilege.

18. I am not ashamed to admit that the decisions I make reflect my personal values.

But then get shamed for expressing why you are making the decisions you make, right?  

19. I am not afraid to create and maintain honest relationships with others.

This does not apply to all women.  It also implies that the relationships men make are not honest or not as valuable as the relationships women make.  

20. I do not fear being accused of having an ethic of care in my professional life.

Honestly, I do not understand exactly what this one is implying…Suggestions?

 21. When I enter an office, I am likely to encounter those who can help me “in low places.”

Same with this one…

22. I am more likely to get hugs than handshakes, depending on the situation.

It’s a privilege for random people to come up and hug you?  Quite frankly, that shit creeps me out…

23. I am less likely to be seen as a threat, which allows me more subtle alternatives.

So, you’re seen as less of a threat, therefore you can get away with more….cool.  Ask Ted Bundy how that went for him…

24. I can use men’s “sheer fear of tears” to my advantage.

I don’t exactly understand what this means, but it implies that it’s a privilege to be able to take advantage of someone by using tears to get what you want.  Not a privilege.  That’s just childish.

25. I can complain that these female privileges are relatively minor compared with the vast assortment of dominant male privileges, but I wouldn’t change places for the world.

These are not privileges.  They still imply that we are weaker.  They imply that we need men in our lives in order to accomplish anything.  Try providing a list that claims “women make more money than men” “women are more likely to move up in a big firm without others assuming we ‘slept our way to the top’” or “women can work outside of the home without being labeled as a bad parent”, then we’ll talk.

Source: hitmeagaintubesock

10th May 2012

Link reblogged from Sydney's opinionated opinions with 1 note

Sydney's opinionated opinions: Dog buying mistakes →

sydneysopinionatedopinions:

Also don’t get dogs for children if your child quickly loses interest in his or her possessions. Children will lose interest in the new and cute puppy once the dog gets too old to play with or for any other reason. You then will end up with the sole responsibility for taking care of the dog.

Dear sydneysopinionatedopinions aka ZooLiberation (tumblr /YouTube/DeviantART/FetLife/WordPress),

Also, don’t get dogs if you believe it is okay and normal for you and other humans to fuck/abuse them (and other animals), as you so believe.

Tagged: bestialityzoophiliaanimal abuseFetusFlingerZooLiberationFuck_The_System

Source: sydneysopinionatedopinions